I will not believe. That is what the Apostle Thomas declared when the other Apostles told him about their meeting of the Risen Lord Jesus. No, Thomas insisted, unless I put my finger in his wounds and my hand in his side, I will not believe. Please note: Thomas did not say “I cannot believe;” he said “I will not believe.”
We live in a time of widespread apostasy or falling away from faith in Jesus Christ as the Savior of the world, and this unbelief is often described by those who have no faith as the result of scientific knowledge, or of disgust with corruption in the Church, or of the implausibility to the modern mind of what the Bible teaches about the origin and destiny of the cosmos.
But while all of these objections and many other questions demand serious answers (answers which wait in a library full of books for anyone willing to read them), such reasons don’t really get to the heart of unbelief in the simple, direct way stated by doubting Thomas: I will not believe. And for the vast majority of unbelievers, that is the real issue, whether they acknowledge it or not. It isn’t that they cannot believe; it is, rather, that they will not believe. But why?
Well, very often they will not believe because it is not possible to confess that Jesus of Nazareth is God the Son, the eternal Word made flesh, and then go on living the way I used to lived and still want to live before I learned that the Lord Jesus is the Lamb once slain who lives forever.
To know that Jesus Christ is the God who created the universe and who makes sinful humanity into a new creation is to be changed by conversion as Christ teaches: “Repent, and believe in the Gospel." To be a Christian is to be a student or disciple of the Risen Christ, which in turns means that I will learn from him why I exist and how to live in keeping with God’s plan for my life.
And the primary obstacle to that vocation in each of our lives is the same thing: In the name of personal autonomy, I reserve the right to decide for myself what is good and true and beautiful and what is not, and I will not submit to any other standard, including divine revelation, thus placing my will in opposition to the Word of God.
In other words, for most people the primary obstacle to accepting the truth of the Gospel with the obedience of faith is not in the intellect but in the will. I will not believe. I will not believe because I will not be changed. I will not believe because I will not serve. I will not believe because I will not relinquish my treasured sins. I will not believe because I will not even admit that my sins are sins. I simply will not believe, although I may contrive reasons to justify my unbelief rather than admit the real reasons to myself or others.
Now most of the time these obstacles to belief are not carefully worked out and clearly understood in the hearts and minds of unbelievers. Rather, like a stopped up sink, we learn of the blockage by seeing its results, but even then we don’t know exactly where the problem lies. The blockage might be close to the surface, or it might be deep down inside. We know only that the line is plugged up, and the water cannot flow.
And so it goes with those who will not believe. They themselves may not comprehend why they will not believe, but in the loneliness, unhappiness, or lack of purpose in their lives, the life-giving water of grace cannot flow. It cannot flow, that is, until someone breaks up the clot by breaking through their fear and doubt.
In the second lesson today we read the account by Saint John the Apostle and Evangelist of his mystical experience on the island of Patmos, the vision in which he saw the Risen Lord in glory. Now, John knew and loved the Lord Jesus intimately and was a personal witness of the Resurrection. But upon seeing Christ revealed in glory as the Pantocrator or ruler of the universe, even John was filled with reverential fear, and so he wrote that:
“When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead.” And what was Christ’s response to John’s collapse? “He touched me with his right hand and said ‘Be not afraid. I am the first and the last, the one who lives. Once I was dead, and behold I am alive forevermore.’”
Be not afraid. Jesus Christ is the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end, the one who is, who was, and who is to come. All time belongs to Christ and all the ages. And on the Day of Resurrection, the Lord Jesus returned to the upper room in which on the previous Thursday evening he celebrated his last supper with the Apostles to transform the Passover of Israel into the Eucharist of his Church.
Then on Easter Sunday evening, Jesus passed through the locked doors of their fear and said to them “Peace be with you,” and then he gave them their mission: “As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them. As the Spirit of God moved over the waters at the dawn of creation and brought forth life, so now the Spirit is given to bring forth the new life of grace. “He breathed on them and said to them ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven.’”
Friends, it is Christ himself who breaks through the obstacles of our fear, our pride, our shame, our doubt, and our refusal to be changed. Jesus passes through the locked doors of our hearts, and as he did for Thomas, Christ shows us his glorious wounds and invites us to share in his suffering so that we may learn to die to self:
“Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.” In the night of the Easter Vigil as the five grains of incense are pressed into the Paschal Candle in the form of the Cross, the Church prays “By his holy and glorious wounds, may Christ the Lord guard us and protect us.” But since Christ ascended to his Father forty days after the Resurrection, how does he appear to us today to accomplish this work of conversion in our lives?
The Lord Jesus comes to us through prayer and fellowship with other Christians, through the service of the poor and those who suffer from need of any kind, and above all through the Holy Scriptures and the sacraments of the New Covenant, which are the ordinary means of grace in the worship of the Church.
Eight days ago we celebrated the Resurrection by renewing the promises of our Baptism, and on this Sunday of Divine Mercy we rejoice in the gift of the Sacrament of Penance, the ordinary means by which our sins are forgiven after Baptism. The Lord Jesus gave this sacrament of Confession to his Church in the very first words he spoke to his Apostles on Easter Sunday because only by the forgiveness of our sins are we restored to the peace which the world cannot give.
But both Baptism and Confession are merely preparations for our most important encounter with the Risen Christ: namely, receiving the Most Holy Sacrament of the Altar, the Holy Eucharist in which the Lord Jesus gives us his Body and Blood as the medicine of immortality and the food of everlasting life.
Over three days in that same upper room in Jerusalem, Christ us gave us the sacraments of the priesthood, the Eucharist, and the Confession of sins as three of the seven instruments of grace by which he remains with us, reveals himself to us, and leads us to cry out with the Apostle Thomas: my Lord and my God!
So how did the Risen Lord move Thomas from “I will not believe” to “my Lord and my God”? By revealing himself to be the Lamb once slain who lives forever. Christ our Redeemer revealed that he accepted suffering and death out of love. Christ our Life revealed that divine love conquers sin and death. And Christ our Passover revealed that his perfect peace comes from accepting the truth of the Word of God and living in the freedom of the children of God by accepting the forgiveness of our sins.
And so Thomas cried out: my Lord and my God! And then to Thomas who no longer doubted, Christ the Lord said “You have believed because you have seen me. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.” And, God be praised, two millennia later here we are.
But there are many others who are not yet here or who are no longer here among us because they will not believe, and it is our privilege and duty to be witnesses for them to the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. By our words and by our lives, we are sent to invite them to know, love, and serve the Risen Christ.
So think of someone you know who does not yet know that Jesus Christ is Lord or who once did but has abandoned the faith for some reason or is lost in paralyzing doubt or is trapped in habitual sin, and then go to that person, remembering that John the Evangelist and Apostle composed his Gospel for this reason:
“Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples that are not written in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in his name.” For
Christos Anesti! Alithos Anesti!
Christ is Risen! Truly He is Risen! Alleluia! Alleluia!
This is the text of my homily for 27 April 2025, the Second Sunday of Easter.
Fr Jay Scott Newman